STIHIE: ManServants

Have you ever thought that the problem with the average American woman is that she doesn't get to feel like an entitled queen enough?

Well, one startup hopes to correct that issue ASAP! Introducing ManServants:

The company, appropriately called ManServants, states that their vision is "to empower women to make their own rules. Rules a ManServant may then follow." The idea is that instead of hiring creepy strippers for their bachelorette parties, women can hire gorgeous models to do the things they actually desire: hold their umbrellas, serve them Champagne by the pool, massage their bodies with their sexy model hands and even snap selfies for them (which in the old days was called "taking a picture").

According to the website, each Manservant is customizable, just like a Build-A-Bear! Customers can tell the company what they want their Manservant to look like, what he should wear, how he should behave and even give him a new name (the site suggests "Garçon, Bartholomew, or Ryan Gosling.")

But what are some of the things that these ManServants will do?

The men for hire go through “a very rigorous training process,” co-founder Dalal Khajah told Mashable, and they can be hired to do whatever the client wants. During the testing phase of the service, one woman wanted a sassy gay friend to give her relationship advice. Another wanted her man to serve her food while singing songs from The Little Mermaid.

The singing will cost you extra – according to ManServants’ website, the standard services include waiting on you hand and foot, serving drinks, acting as a body guard, taking photos, giving compliments, and “[cleaning] up your hot mess.” For an additional fee, you can get your ManServant to do things like speak in an accent, or give you a spa day complete with cucumber water and chocolate covered strawberries...

But one thing the men won’t do is fulfill fantasies that are less innocent than say, singing “Under the Sea.” In the ManServants code of conduct it says, “A ManServant keeps his penis in his pants and out of the lady’s face.” Chivalry isn’t dead!

Watch the full ad to get a good picture of why your short marriage will end up being a soul-exterminating experience.