The Socially-Acceptable Form Of White Identity

There is little doubt that an authentic, White identity is the greatest taboo in modern Western society. But there is one form of inauthentic White identity, intrinsically tied to popular culture, that is allowed by polite society—because it mocks Whites for being uncool and out of touch.

Thus, we get Buzzfeed’s recent quiz that test’s respondents on how white they really are. You might be wondering if the questions include: Have you conquered a continent? Have you discovered that the Earth revolves around the sun? Have you been to space? Have you created a musical work that is still enjoyed 200 years after your death? Is your ethnic group’s average IQ above 100?

If you think that any of these questions will be on the quest, you are mistaken. The quiz is not designed to assess the accomplishments and qualities of whites, but merely to mock us for being bad dancers, lip-syncing to corny pop songs, and otherwise being oblivious to the hipness and plights of non-Whites.

Here’s a sample of some of the 100 questions that Buzzfeed asks:

  • Had a argument over a boy band?
  • Gotten up to go dance because “The Macarena” came on?
  • Seen more than one Wes Anderson movie?
  • Watched bowling on television?
  • Said, “No way, Jose!”?
  • Been proud of your turtleneck?
  • Watched “Saved by the Bell: The College Years”?+
  • Gone camping in a snuggie?

And lastly:

  • Been offended by a post about white people?

The whole list could be retitled to “How lame are you?” and there would be little change in the content. While the point of the list is for young wWhites to take the test in an ironic fashion and laugh at themselves afterwards, the underlying mentality that led to this list’s creation is that Whites are uncool and make endless fodder for mockery.

The list doesn’t even allow for popular cultural expressions that are largely enjoyed and performed by Whites that are incredibly masculine and definitely not lame, such as heavy metal music and ice hockey. But that would go against the form of White identity that the list wants to inculcate, which is that of a weak and feminine sense of status.

Going by this list, the ultimate expression of White identity is going camping in a snuggie, garbed in a turtleneck, blasting N*SYNC from your portable stereo, and awkwardly “white boy” dancing in the woods.

That’s not White identity, and we all know this.

White identity is the biological and cultural heritage of Europe – not the cultural heritage of '90s cartoons and boy bands. Being White means sharing ancestry with the men who discovered the stars, created the greatest works art known to humanity, and conquered the known world.

We need to emphasize that the accomplishments of men like Galileo and Beethoven are not works that belong to all of humanity, but products of White civilization. George Washington Carver and the guy who supposedly invented the Super Soaker are never labeled inventors of mankind—they’re always celebrated as Black inventors. Whites need the same ethnocentric outlook when we discuss our heroes and our artists to combat this ironic and self-deprecating notion of whiteness.

Currently, the only things we are allowed to take sole credit for is our alleged crimes throughout history, which is just another way of ensuring that Whites won’t embrace their inherent racial identity.

The intended lesson from this insidious quiz is that wWhite identity is a ridiculous concept and is something that no intelligent White person would want to embrace. We need to change that, and the first step in doing that is adopting an ethnocentric world view where we celebrate our achievements as unique to our people and discontinue seeing ourselves as goofy dancers who can’t stand up to the standards of cool that are artificially imposed on us.

Those standards don’t matter and in the end, we are still the only people to make it to the moon. I don’t see any other group of people who can match that accomplishment.