STIHE: The U.S. Army's Pregnancy Pouches

In "Harrison Bergeron," Kurt Vonnegut imagines a world in the not-too-distant future in which all Americans are finally equal: the intelligent are fitted with distracting radio transmitters so they cannot think deeply; athletes and dancers are required to wear weights to handicap any performance; everyone who is beautiful is masked.

Who would have guessed that something like the nightmarish egalitarianism Vonnegut describes would be implemented in the United States Army?  

Stars and Stripes:

CAMP ZAMA, Japan – The Army is ordering its hardened combat veterans to wear fake breasts and empathy bellies so they can better understand how pregnant soldiers feel during physical training.

This week, 14 noncommissioned officers at Camp Zama took turns wearing the “pregnancy simulators” as they stretched, twisted and exercised during a three-day class that teaches them to serve as fitness instructors for pregnant soldiers and new mothers.

Army enlisted leaders all over the world are being ordered to take the Pregnancy Postpartum Physical Training Exercise Leaders Course, or PPPT, according to U.S. Army Medical Activity Japan health promotion educator Jana York.

Developed by the Army in 2008, the course includes aerobics classes, pool sessions and classroom studies on the physiology of pregnant women. The NCOs learn special exercises for pregnant women, who shouldn’t push themselves too hard or participate in high-impact activities such as snowboarding, bungee jumping or horse riding, York said.

Long before the American Empire is ended by a patriotic Old Believers like Ron Paul, it will collapse under the weight of equality.