Social Classes: The Working Class


A series on social class in America. Upper, upper middle, middle, and lower here.


My favorite class is the one I come from. This is the lower middle class. Aka, the working class.  Working class American men are real men. Working class American women, at least in their larval forms, are real women.  They kick more ass, spit farther and take less crap from anyone else than any other class of americanos; sheeeyit, the world. How great are working class Americans? Well, consider this: America has defeated every country in the world it went up against in combat, and it was working class Americans who did the fighting. You think GI  Joe was a nellie upper middle-class dude? Tchyeaaah, right! What is more, the lower middle and the upper class: we're buddies! That's right; the dudes who own it work well with the dudes who built it. Probably have been since the time of Julius Caesar. This is what liberals refer to when they attempt to tar Republicans as a party of the very rich and the very stupid. They're talking about something real; the alliance between the upper class and the lower middles (who are, in my experience, far from stupid; my own towering vanity prevents me from thinking so). Unfortunately, the upper class no longer has any real leaders or power, and so we end up with patrician types like John McCain and George W. Bush who have sold out to the upper middle class, and fake their allegiance to the lower middle class. Really, the only defender the working classes has any more is Pat Buchanan, who is thoroughly one of us.

I'm probably unusual in that I put most legal immigrants into this social class. True, many of the ones I have worked with (knowledge workers) have been upper middle-class aspirants, but they were almost all green-card types, rather than real Americans. Real Americans come here to do work, not to sip foamy coffee and turn their nose up at regular folks. Most of the actual immigrants I have known have been working class to the bone.

The working class has suffered greatly under the new/post 1970s regime. I'd go so far as to say this is because of a conscious hostility from the upper middle class who run everything. Many of their factory jobs are gone forever. Their families have been devastated by "social welfare" programs, and their neighborhoods have become crime ridden, due to the all the lower class uncivilized state-funded bastards running around. The prospering lower middle-class people are the tradesmen: electricians, plumbers, technicians, contractors -- though these guys are in some trouble from immigration also. Still, the working class has preserved many virtues: the virtues of hard work and manliness not the least among them.

How to work with or suck up to working class people:

  1. First of all, more than anything else, if you have to be around working class people: don't be a  pussy. Since working class men are real men, they know what to do with a pussy, and you're probably not going to like it very much.
  2. Drop out of school.  If you're going to go to college, do something manly and tough, like engineering, math or science. Making bridges, giant skyscrapers and laser death rays is working class. Making poetry and UN committees on the blind is not working class.
  3. Knock up your girlfriend when you are in high school. You will owe her child support for the rest of your naturals, but what the hell; you only live once. Be a man! If you can't pull off this rite of passage, knock somebody up. What are you? A faggit? By the way, despite what the upper middles will try to tell you, homosexuals are all right with working class people, as long as they aren't pussies and can drink beer and chase women like real men. Example: Rock Hudson is a cool dude, but Liberace is not. Working class people are also mostly not particularly racist: as long as you have a fucking job and aren't a fucking pussy. Working class people WORK; capiche?
  4. Live for the weekends; that is when you are free. No work to do on the weekends.
  5. If you are into religion, don't be a pussy about it (see #1): Episcopalians and Lutherans are middle class weenies. Newage baloney is for upper middle-class neurotic ladies. Working class people were probably born Catholic, or some crazy snake handling cult like Pentecostalism. Most of the Religious Right are and always have been working class.
  6. Working-class people do working-class jobs: plumbers, electricians, soldiers, policemen, firemen, carpenters, truckers, forktruck drivers, fishermen, auto mechanics, farmers, construction workers. Working-class people occasionally get jobs in other professions, but they don't do so well working with pussies. Either that, or they completely fucking crush them. Place where this has happened: all them millionaires in loud suits on the floor of the stock exchange are insanely macho working-class dudes. Quants, alas, are mostly upper middle and middle class.
  7. Hobbies: Huntin', drinkin', shootin', fuckin', rodeo, stadium rock, fightin', attending professional wrestling events, tractor pulls, NASCAR, workin' a second or third job, buildin' a deck, speedboatin', jet skiin', ridin' the hog, bunjii jumpin' -- basically, any sort of thing where you can emit the blue colla war cry, which is to say, "wooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!! yyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeaaaaaah!!!!!!!!! yeeeeeeeeeehaw!!!!!"
  8. Working class people are conservative or soft left. That's right: exactly the same as those stiff upper crust types. In fact, working class people have a lot in common with the uppers: patriotism, appreciation of the outdoors and the ocean, bravery (think, Patton or Teddy Roosevelt: consummate patricians, and great heroes of the working class), the Marine Corps, etc. Working class people admire those crazy upper class dudes with their ascots and blue blazers who do wacky things like cross the world in a hot air balloon or dinky little sailboats. I mean, a working class guy wouldn't do it that way: they'd do it with something that had chrome side pipes, but at least them suit types ain't a bunch of pussies.
  9. Working class people wear boots. Not ties.
  10. Habitat: decaying factory towns, seedier suburbs, seedier cities (Oakland, not San Francisco: Queens, not Manhattan), the country, the south, Texas, military bases; manly places where men do manly things.

Example working class people: Tom Monaghan (founder of Dominos pizza, so as to include a zillionaire in there), most firemen, some cops, most enlisted men (officers are often upper crust or middle class), your auto mechanic, Joe the Plumber, etc.