The Sports Guy Bill Simmons published a bunch of letters he got from Cleveland fans crying about LeBron James. Here are my favorites.
Can we please have an all-Cleveland mailbag? I'm 30 and was openly weeping for the past 20 minutes. This is a stomach punch mixed with a groin kick with an open-handed slap.
City: Lake Lotawana, Mo.
Name: Rob Reid
My first thought after hearing about the ESPN special: Nobody could be so cruel as to go on national television and sucker punch his loyal fan base of seven years, right? My second thought? That's exactly what a self-absorbed, ill-advised 25-year-old kid without any real perspective would do. It was at that point I was certain he was not staying.
How does someone recover from this? My father will be dead before a Cleveland team wins a title.
Name: Dave S.
I'm devastated. Not surprised it played out this way, but it still hurts. When the "Zombie Sonics" left Seattle you dedicated an entire mailbag to their fans. I think you can only extend the same to Cleveland fans. I've seen The Fumble, The Shot and Jose Mesa. This city has been let down too many times. I realize we'll never have the glamour or glitz of a Miami, New York, etc., but we're still good people and we just want to see something good happen to us. Something cathartic has to come out of this mess.
I like these ones: from people from sports cities which have been cursed. It reminds me of the narratives that oppressed people like the Palestinians, Chechens and Kurds tell themselves. But they actually are concerned about the well-being of their people and its history, not some sports star who happens to sign a contract with a franchise that happens to be located in another city.
I'm 25 years old. I'm about to re-enlist for another tour overseas with the Army. I have an idea of what matters and what doesn't.
But this still hurts. Nothing stings worse than when one of your own rips your heart out. Not like this ...
Maybe I should do what's best for me and get out of the Army. Unfortunately, loyalty is driving me to do one more tour.
LeBron knows nothing of that word.
City: Canton, Ohio
Name: Derek G.
I just finished staining my deck ... at 10:30 p.m. I'm not really sure why I did this, but I was trying to take my mind off LeBron. The last time I felt like this was when my high school girlfriend dumped me; only this time I am Dan Gilbert/Cleveland and the girl is LeBron. LeBron wanted a free agent, we got him a free agent. LeBron drove 100 mph on I-71, or bombed in the playoffs, we forgave him immediately, and loved him nonetheless.
I never did find out why my girlfriend left me, it just seemed like she thought the grass was greener elsewhere. I hope Miami is greener, LeBron, because Cleveland is more dead now that when you arrived. It doesn't matter how many titles you may win, you have lost a chance to do for Cleveland fans what Miami fans will never truly appreciate.
I stopped reading halfway through. What a bunch of losers.
If you read about the run up to WWI, you see that in France, Russia and Germany the people were clamoring for war. That conflict was the beginning of the end for Western Civilization. Maybe if it wasn't for pro-ball these same morons would be emotionally invested in attacking Iran or France instead.
If we assume that the vast majority of men are too unintelligent or apathetic to have scholarly interests and need something outside of themselves and their personal relationships to be passionate about, which is the least evil? Fanaticism with regards to religion or politics usually leads to bloodshed. Maybe sports does a valuable service. The craze for it seems to have become universal about the same time that the European and East Asian countries lost interest in war. On the other hand, this argument has a "last man" type feel to it which I can't accept. You sometimes hear that in the decades after the American Revolution men would sit there in bars and debate the merits of the Federalist Papers. I've never believed that but if it was true maybe there was a point where the average citizen had more dignity. With the loss of faith in Washington and big institutions in general, maybe that day of civic and personal responsibility will come again.
The same day I'm thinking these thoughts, I learn that after Glenn Beck featured The Road to Serfdom on his show it became the number 1 best seller on Amazon. May at least a significant minority of the masses became as passionate about hating their government as the rest are about which black freak in their city is throwing a ball into a hoop. I have no hope for the "average man," but we should set out to convert the top 10-20% in cognitive ability and social consciousness to anti-statist positions.