District of Corruption

The Pandering Girlieman of Illinois

I had never heard of freshman Republican Congressman Aaron Schock until a friend sent me this recently unearthed photo of him, which appears to prove that he’s a complete homo. He wouldn’t be the first in the District. Indeed, this life-long politician -- he’s the first “millennial” in the House -- born in 1981, elected to his local school board at age 19 -- seems a perfect representation of our Sadomasochistic “democratic” culture: the politician intrudes into all aspects of people’s lives, wielding arbitrary, irrational power, while at the same time obsequiously striving to “serve” his constituents and promising that the federal government will give them lots of stuff.

Aaron Schock

Schock also seems to be one of the few Republicans -- by AltRight’s count, the second -- for whom “reaching out” to African-Americans has actually worked. Schock has, indeed, built a career in Peoria, Illinois, by delivering blacks all kinds of federal goodies. Here's one of his 2008 campaign videos.

Shock’s similarity to the sociopathic-narcissist candidate “Clint Webb” is uncanny, though he’s yet to find himself a beard.